My brother’s girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it’s completely free if you’re in one of the “at risk” groups.
“What does that mean,” he asks. “It’s free if you’re gay,” he’s told. “Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or…?” “Just put in a check mark here.”
My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he’s stingy as it gets. So now he’s officially gay. Congrats bro.
“Doctor, give it to me straight” “You sure, there’s a fee” “… Give it to me gay”
AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)
Fascinated by the fact that his first question was about if he’d have to prove it. I wanna know how far that man would go to save less than a dollar
Sorry, do you think 87 euros is less than a dollar
okay okay so like i don’t wanna kill the party but i just saw an instagram shop selling a shirt that says now i am become death the destroyer of worlds in barbie font and i just sigh i just like i get the novelty of barbie and oppenheimer weekend but i have got to stress the bomb changed the entire world forever and wiped out over a quarter of a million people i think maybe we gotta kinda take a step back here when we start selling it as if it’s fun hot girl summer fodder
before you start babygirling oppenheimer just know that from what i’ve heard the film does not address downwinders, does not have a singular japanese person in it, and exploited our museums by claiming photos on loan for personal use (meaning they did not have to pay a penny to use them in the film despite being a multi-million dollar production).
“Isn’t it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal” I mean, there’s a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn’t have enough poison in it.
Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.
We’re not fast and don’t have a lot of natural weaponry but we’re bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.
the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:
Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.
Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.
But buddy.
Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.
